Things have been crazy

Like the title says things have been a bit crazy round here. 

I've been meaning to blog but my head is all over the place at the moment. 

Mostly things centre round Dinky. Her school have been a bit useless from the second week and still are. I had to talk to the deputy to get her a bloody coat peg. The school said she was welcome on the school trip only if I went as her 1:1. When I went to discuss it, turns out she wasn't doing as well as the teachers made out. If I didn't go there were only a few options. 

1. They get a senior member of staff trained in restraint to go, but they would need a second member to go too so she would have 2:1 on her. She is 5 for crying out loud! A small (hence the name dinky) 5 year old, 2:1 they can't be serious! Apparently that is expensive though...

2. I have her at home. No bloody way! They don't want her on the school trip so she gets to stay at home when she is supposed to be getting an education? No way!

3. She goes into the nurture room for the day. 

Ok those are my options. 

Well, I am not in the right place for socialising with teachers and parents and having lots of little kids talking to me. It is taking everything I have to be cheery and fine for Kaitlyn's sake when she is home. Plus I have never been to this place, so it's a no. 

Option 1, the deputy wasn't keen on and it was a lot of "well, we will have to see if we can finance it and get the staff."

Option 2. No way.

Option 3, well to be honest from what beginning of the week teacher said once, the nurture room might be a part of her schooling at some point if she is unable to cope. Maybe it would be worth her getting used to the nurture room and the staff. 

Then there was a meeting with the senco. 

That was fun. If fun means fighting tooth and nail for what should be a given. 

She started off all defensive, "we are getting to know her", "some children present differently in different settings", "it is hard for the teachers to talk to 30 children's parents or carers at the end of the school day." And "we try to remain positive about our students". 

So I explained that it is hard not to be anxious after your 5 year old only lasts 6 months in one school, to move to another and be misled into believing that your child is doing really well, but knowing in the deepest part of yourself that it just isn't true. I second guessed myself. Only to find through speaking to the deputy and having a small chat with beginning of the week teacher that actually she really isn't doing as well. It doesn't help that the TA is one of those people who think they are better than everyone else, but is actually no better. 

She doesn't get Dinky and she won't even try. 5 years as a TA and she thinks she knows everything. She moved dinky down a reading level because dinky wouldn't read to her. So she went from stage 2, to 1+ and is now on stage 4 in only 4 weeks.

So with all that in the background, it is hard to think about doing what I need for me and for our future. I finally got a new mental health nurse, but she is less than useless. 

She said he only thing she could do was send me to some group. 

The group leader phoned and gave me 15 minutes to make a 45 minute journey.

On a brighter note. 

I took Dinky to the London eye, and the sealife centre/ London aquarium. 

We had a really good day. 

The last time I took dinky for a day trip to London (apart from her grandma's) was the science museum back in August. That was a nightmare. She ran off, hid, refused to move, messed about a lot, final straw was hitting me because we had to wait for the space tour. We ended up waiting outside for the people we went with to finish up. 

This time we had her DLA form and pre booked priority disabled tickets. Which meant no time restrictions, no lines, no crowds, less noise and more freedom. It meant I could do things at her pace. I let her choose what order we did things, when we did them, what we had for lunch and how long we spent in places. She was allowed one small thing from each place as a souvenir. 

They say challenging children need more boundaries. I gave Dinky less and watched her have the best day out we have ever, ever had. 

Even when she was 2 and we went to the sealife centre in Brighton she was a nightmare. 

I don't know if I'm just pure crazy or if the less boundaries thing works better because she definitely has PDA, but we are going to the 'special children's day' at London zoo this weekend with my dad. I will probably have to make him aware of my plan and how I want to handle her, and how he will handle her or he can just go/stay home. 

I think now I have a very good idea what is going on with dinky it is easier to manage. 

Like, I know she may find it difficult going to the zoo, so it will be on her terms. She can decide when we go, how long we stay and which areas of the zoo we visit. I am still in charge of safety, but she is in charge of everything else. 

Lets see what tomorrow brings

Steps for me and Special needs swimming for Dinky

I will get round to explaining April, at some point... But I need to arrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh and I can't do it on Facebook as only one of my Facebook friends knows that dinky is being assessed.
It's not like it is a trade secret, it is just, I'm not a sociable person, most of my friends on Facebook are old friends and people I occasionally have small contact with once in a blue moon.
So why do I need to arrrrrrrggggghhhh...
Well, yesterday I had another steps meeting. L is lovely and honestly she seems to be one of the most down to earth and friendly of the people I end up being sent to. Although it really was not an easy 40 minutes. I have had a call and I have an appointment with another MHN on Friday. So L was trying to get me to see that I don't help myself because I don't let people see the vulnerable. Yeah I've heard it before. What I don't get is how others don't see that then. How come M from the counselling service and L from steps see the vulnerable? She got me to try and talk to her first. Not easy...
Today...
Well I had this awesome idea that now Dinky gets DLA I should get her into some special needs classes that she couldn't do otherwise... Like.... Swimming... Hey, what could go wrong? First of all I must point out the reasons swimming in an ordinary swimming lesson wouldn't work.
1) numbers- I watched the end of a swim lesson and there was one instructor and 12 kids. Dinky could not be one of those 12 kids as none of those 12 kids would get the support from the instructor as swimming pools are dangerous places (and proven today) dinky just doesn't understand the term dangerous. She sees what she wants to do and does it.
2) other children- forget numbers other children would be a distraction and she would do stupid (and dangerous) things in order to be liked
3) her demand avoidance- imagine a child who actively avoids demands, put that child who has autistic traits in a new environment and add excitement. Not good. How would an instructor of a class teach her?

So I got her into the special needs swim group.
Dangerous, demand avoidance, controlling and meltdown.... That was her swim lesson.

How, or why they are willing to have her back I don't know. I think I will be a nervous wreck although I have ideas as to how to improve it for next time.

The worst part, was seeing her in a special needs group, not doing well, and not being the most high functioning child there. Which surprised me. A lot. And now I don't know how to feel. I feel... Sad almost.

Oh and to top it off her teacher is a bloody idiot and put a stage 1+ book in her book bag... She read a level 5 over the weekend and read it almost perfectly! It's writing and numbers she can't do!

Dinky awarded DLA

It is a happy and a sad thing... Let me explain...

Happy-

Well, it is extra money for things she needs or that would help her that other children wouldn't need and opens the door to activities that she can access that she couldn't before. It makes my life easier as I was dreading having to tell the job centre I couldn't attend a sign on because my daughter was going to be assessed for autism spectrum disorder. Or finally get into work and have to go to meeting after meeting for dinky. Now I can be her carer while she gets assessed and then I can find a job in my own time.

Sad-

How can it not be. My baby, my little miracle, my dinky is classed as having a disability. Even typing that is hard. No parent wants others to label their child as special needs, Special educational needs, disabled, or have a disability.

That is what this award says... Your child is disabled. You child has special needs. Your child will never be like other children.


Is this a big shock. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. I can't tell. No, not really. From January I have come to accept in time that yes dinky is not like other kids her age. No it is not housing related. No it won't go away and no it doesn't change who she is but it does crush the hope that she will grow out of her extreme behaviour. It sucks all the hope out of me that one days she will not be so anxious when it comes to a demand filled environment. She won't stop spinning after school, she won't stop chewing EVERYTHING, she will never act her age and although she is bright she will always fall behind because she can't handle the classroom environment.

Do I home school? No. I am the worst possible person to teach her. I taught her a lot but I get very frustrated and I'm only reinforcing what she learns now.

What is the answer? I don't know. My head is a bit of a mess... I will think, I will write again

It has been a long time

He's it has been a while.
A lot has happened and I've spent a lot of time trying to sort everything out as there have been some major developments....

**26th February 2013

*Morning-
I went to the doctors for dinky like I said I was going to and went through a long list of her issues that cause concern and took the deputies referral which had 75% of the criteria of PDA on.
He mentioned PDA but being a GP registrar had to ask his superior where he should refer to. The superior happened to be the doctor who did an extensive appointment in which she referred dinky to CAMHS after the shambles we had previously and that stupid doc who didn't listen to a word I said.
So he referred to the child development centre to the autism spectrum disorder clinic for assessment.

*Afternoon

The school went from being ok to being useless and the head teacher was quite offensive!
I was pretty much cornered by the head and Dinky's play therapist. They were saying that staying in the hostel holding out for a place nearer the school was not in Dinky's best interests and that she was unsettled. That she would be fine moving to a new school and it was me who didn't like change.
They said that two other schools (the only ones with spaces and in areas with awful reputations), would be "used to dealing with families like yours." I'm still in the dark as to what the head teacher meant by this statement. She also said that once dinky feels settled she will be fine and in the next breath said that both schools have dedicated sencos and nurture groups which would be better for dinky.
Anyway, a lot was said I left feeling like they didn't want her there and were using my willingness to do anything for dinky no matter what the cost to myself to get her out. So I had pretty much decided to move her out on this convo as I had seen a lovely place on the day before in a better part of the undesirable area.
To be fair on reflection I can sort of understand it. Dinky is not the easiest of children and if she does have PDA then it isn't going to get any easier!
But everytime the class teacher had the slightest inkling of a problem she ran to deputy. Deputy had to come sort dinky out so was pulled away from deputy/senco duty. Head teacher wanted her deputy back and play therapist well, I don't know. She asked to keep in contact with me regarding dinky. I said yes purely because I wanted to be childish and prove my point when dinky doesn't actually improve.

So when I got home I bid for it

**1st March 2013

WE GET THE HOUSE!!!

Well, I got a phone call to say we were going to be offered it.

**4th March 2013

Went to look at school down the road from possible new place. It seemed like it would suit dinky. It had a big open room with separate areas as classrooms, most of it was play based learning and therefore not too demanding, and seemed nice enough.

**5th March

I went to look at the house, it was massive! Both bedrooms double rooms, lovely big storage cupboard/play place off the living room. It was perfect. 10 mins walk from the school I looked at the day before. So I took it.

** 8th march 2013

WE MOVED IN!!!

Honestly it was the best feeling. Despite having to throw a couple of boxes of my stuff away due to mice in the garage where most of my personal possessions were, I got some things squared away pretty quickly.

The end of march

Dinky finished at her school. It was a shabby farewell and to be honest I am pretty disappointed. The class teacher promised dinky a special book, it was basically thrown together last minute and was shit. The senco came out to say goodbye and all three TAs came to say goodbye. The head teacher went into Dinky's class but I would have bitten her head off had she come out so I have her a warning glance and she walked back out.

ALSO

Dinky was accepted for a special needs group and went in two trips during the Easter holidays and I am waiting to hear about the Saturday group activities!

I will write more from April tomorrow!

Haven't been on here for a couple of weeks...

It's has been a strange few weeks and if I'm honest I've not been on top form, I've been slightly depressed and ill with flu. I'm not sure how I am at the moment except I have loads of paperwork to sort through and lots of appointments to go to and all I want is to bury my head in the sand.
Unfortunately that is not an option.
I've signed on to job seekers, the school senco has made out that all of dinkys problems are housing related, I still haven't heard anything about a new MHN, Dinky turned 5 and I have been back to the docs about dinky and her behaviour having been told about a little known form of autism called PDA.

So first of all they had the CAF planning meeting. I wasn't allowed to go because there were 6 children being discussed at this meeting. When I went to speak to the senco (also the deputy head and our lead professional) she said that CAMHS have said dinky probably won't meet their criteria, that I should get in touch with a housing support service (which are pretty rubbish if the one I just told not to bother anymore are anything to go by) and that she will be doing a referral for the family link worker service. Which all sounds well and good except she also said that our issues are housing related so the team said that there is not much they could do and have I tried the rent deposit scheme. Urgh! Yes, the rent deposit scheme is all well and good if you can afford to pay £150 a month towards your rent even if you qualify for full housing benefit and continue to pay that £150 on top of whatever else you have to contribute when you work. Also you need a guarantor who earns over £30,000 a year and find a landlord that will accept those on income support or job seekers and a young child. I can safely say that the chances of me getting a guarantor are 0% and being able to afford £150 a month on benefit again 0% and finding a landlord who will take IS/JSA and a child next to zero. So yes I have tried that route and do they not think I would rather go private rent than live in a hostel? But I must be thick?
So a resounding flop on the senco's part of I'm honest as if she used an ounce of common sense she would see that it has been 10 months and surely dinky would settle and adapt (as most kids do) not get worse the longer time goes on. The thing that gets me is no one has thought to ask dinky whether or not she likes it here. I have. She says she likes it a bit. I ask what she doesn't like, she replies, the bumpy walls, referring to the wallpaper. Other than that she says she likes it here. She likes sharing a room with me and she likes the other kids that either live or visit here. So is it still housing related? I don't think so anymore.
So with everyone telling me there is a problem with dinky and since she went on the SEN register I went looking for parents in the same position (roughly) as I find myself in with dinky. Funnily enough after explaining about dinky and posting some of the harder days with her one person private messaged me and told me I should have a look at PDA (pathological demand avoidance).
I almost laughed when I read the description, not only does it sum dinky up in a nut shell but also 75% of the criteria was in the referral to the family link worker service written by the senco.
It makes complete sense. At Playgroup they could not dissuade her from playing her own games, and could not persuade her to paint, or join in activities, well, not unless she wanted to. However they did mention that if they asked her to she wouldn't, but if they told her it was available she was more likely to give it a go. She has got progressively worse at school, which makes sense because more and more demands are being made of her. The first half term was pretty much have fun while we work you out and then easing the kids into school life. Well for dinky it wasn't very easy for her and she does avoid tasks in quite a dramatic fashion (normally running off and hiding or pretending to go to the toilet). Of course it could have been just me right? So I phoned my dad. I read the criteria and he said it was dinky 100%. I copied it out and showed the two people who keep saying that dinky shows autistic traits and they said it was spot on. I even went as far as showing the senco who agreed it fits dinky, although she says it still may not be the case which I don't deny. I am not saying dinky definitely has PDA, but surely it is worth investigating.
Also in regards to the school the senco/lead professional/deputy, is arranging a TAC (team around the child) meeting for sometime in the next few weeks. So that should be entertaining. Especially if they refuse to listen and I have to photocopy dinkys behaviour diary that I have been keeping for the last 5 weeks. I think then they might start to pay attention to the fact that maybe all is not what it seems where dinky is concerned.
Dinky had her 5th birthday but unfortunately was ill. Which kind of sucks for her, but she had a good time.
As she turned 5 my income support ended and I'm now one of the thousands upon thousands if not millions of unemployed people in the country on JSA. Doing the online form was easy as anything, it was the fact I had to go to an appointment to finish the claim with dinky as it was half term then I had to sign on too with her there. Which wasn't the easiest of tasks as it is very hard to have a discussion when dinky is bored and doesn't want to sit in the seat.

Oh yes that's right inbetween these job centre appointments I went to the doc about dinky, to see if the dic would refer her somewhere else seeing as CAMHS have pretty much said dinky doesn't fit the criteria and I showed him the referral to the family link worker service and the criteria from the national autistic society and he said it was worth investigating as dinky was hiding under the table with the curtains drawn. She also jumped on the bed, pulled the blinds, tried to leave the room and hit me in front of the doc because I said the school can't handle her behaviour.
He said he wasn't sure of the best place to send us so he made an appointment without dinky there for Tuesday and he is going to speak to the practice partner (who did dinkys CAMHS referral) and ask her opinion.
So I have to wait until Tuesday for that one...


Other than that... Yes it has been fun.. Oh and it is inset day tomorrow so I'm taking dinky up to the soft play centre for a bit...

Fun times...

Last week was last week- what do we have this week?

So last week dinky got a communications book that was about as much use as a chocolate fireguard or trapdoor on a boat.
I went to a housing meeting to be told by everyone I met that dinky sounds autistic/aspergers.
I got a call from the mind advocate telling me I had a new MHN, but no appointment yet.
I went to the doc who told me that I was lucky as I wasn't on the streets, who said I wasn't depressed and then the screening came back as positive for depression! Genius these docs in this surgery.
So I'm full scale ranting in my head at the moment.

Feel free to stop reading as this could take a while....
Dinky's issues first...

To be honest I'm all over the place with dinky and her issues. All these people keep mentioning autism (high functioning end) and aspergers I even had one parent tell me to look up the difference in manifestations between male and female autism as some of the stuff I have said, I have said the teacher has said, she has seen herself, it makes sense.
The school are the ones who first flagged things up but the teacher is being so difficult to get on board.
It is like it is a massive chore for her to do a communications book for dinky. Today I was furious when I read the comment! I had been standing outside the class this morning because the door was open and no member of staff was nearby, so dinky could have gone and no one would have known until the register was taken. I was watching dinky with her 'friend'. All of a sudden dinky launched herself at this 'friend' punching her in the face and falling on her at the same time. The other kid was obviously upset and got the TA, who told dinky off and made her apologise. None of the staff knew I had seen this take place. However in the comms book all I have for the entire day is 'some lovely times'. Sure, there might have been some lovely times but don't you think I should be informed that my child punched another kid in the face? Surely that shows that she is aggressive in school too, when on the CAF form the physical aggression has been marked as being a home thing! It is things like this that mean she won't get the right help because no one will be able to say what is going on without the right information. Physical aggression in class is quite a major thing. Especially as last week I witnessed dinky push another child over and be reprimanded and I had to drag her away from a fight she was having with the same kid she punched today! Surely this counts as need to know? Right?
It's like anything else with the teacher. I had no idea dinky wouldn't participate in groups until I read in her reading diary 'dinky is becoming more compliant to come and read in a group now.' it actually seems I get more information from the home reading diary than I do from the comms book! Even today there is a longer entry in the reading diary! Maybe that is why the comms book entry is so small. I don't know... Who knows what the teacher is thinking. She is probably going to the first port of call when she looks at me and sees that I look about 17 (I'm being nice!) and wear jeans and a hoody with Nike air force ones, I don't exactly look very motherly. Maybe I should change my school wardrobe and wear some jeans, black shoes/ boots or nasty sketchers trainers, with some old persons cardigan and a coat from M&S? Maybe then it won't come down to a class/age/parenting perspective. The stupid thing is the deputy is brilliant and assures me she will do what is in dinkys best interests and can see it is not a parenting issue!
There was a time where I almost smacked the health visitor because she handed me a NSPCC leaflet about not smacking your children and about listening! It took for me to prove I had done the time out for years with little or no success, I tired reward charts to little or no success, and I tried removing dinkys favourite films and toys, again little or no success. Actually there was one point when I took all dinkys films and toys and she had nothing for 3 weeks but the normal tv which was restricted heavily. She didn't really seem to care. She just looked out of the window at the horses. I have tried positive parenting strategies, and I have tried picking battles. I have read book after book on managing behaviour in toddlers and preschoolers. Some bits from some books work, other books, not so much! They had to agree I had and was trying everything.
I am such an impatient person. Now I know there may be something wrong with dinky, I want an answer like tomorrow. I don't want to do the NHS/CAMHS waiting malarkey! I want to know what is wrong if anything and if there is, what they can do about it!
I guess I probably should look up autism in girls and see what it says. Maybe I can look closer at some situations and see if she fits or not.



My issues...
Well, what can I say. I just have to wait. The doctors where I am are rubbish though. Normally there is like a one doc per surgery that treats me like I'm 10 years old but almost every doc I see is as useless as the next and all seem to use varying degrees of condesending and patronising language toward me. Oh well. I'm lucky, its not as if I'm on the streets right? Sure because everyone on the streets have children too. It is not like if I didn't have dinky I would be on the streets either. Actually I would be a supervisor or higher for the only major sports shop (and don't include the shop that had to remove sports from its name as it was a sports wear company and not a sports company there is a difference!) in the country and would still have my own flat down by the south coast. The only reason I gave it up was because I had dinky! So that's crap. And no I'm not bloody lucky... What I'm lucky that we are in a hostel? That it is me and a hyperactive nearly 5 year old who has 'behavioural and emotional difficulties' in one room? Oh I'm lucky to have undiagnosed mental health issues with the latest being PTSD and the possibility of a mood disorder? Oh so lucky! Oh and I must be so lucky to have found a lump in my breast and have to go to 4 separate appointments and strip to the waist and have memories resurface of the sexual abuse I suffered for 2 years! Yeah I'm so bloody lucky! I ooze luck! So much so that the MHN I had made me feel worse and when I try to change nurses it takes over 2 months! So lucky! And on to of all that I get to go job hunting and have my already low self esteem pushed further back by not even getting one interview from 30 job applications!
Don't you wish you were as lucky as me?
Don't get me wrong I know what he was aiming for, and I've taken it slightly out of context. I guess it is hard for those on the streets but does that make it easier for me? I'm not saying that I have it worst off in the world. I could name millions of people worse off than myself. I just think it was a rather poor use of words and a poor use of his imagination.


This week there are no suitable houses to bid on (although I'm thinking about changing schools if this teacher situation doesn't get resolved soon!), I have a job centre interview for my jobseekers allowance on the 7th, I might pop into the school tomorrow and talk to the deputy about the contact book. That's about it really...

I just mustn't forget how lucky I am!

It's been an interesting couple of days... Complicated life seems such an apt name for this blog!

Maybe it's because I scored as depressed on the questionnaire or maybe it's because I'm extremely shattered, maybe it's because so much has happened or maybe it's all of it combined, but I haven't posted for a few days... So here it is...

Thursday I went to a housing meeting with a parents forum. I wasn't sure if I should be there. I was given the flyer by the deputy at dinky's school but it was for parents of kids with SEN (special educational needs). I went anyway. A Housing meeting was going to be interesting and if I had nothing to add, I had nothing to add.
Funnily enough the guest speakers from the local council Housing department didn't turn up! I'm not surprised by the reaction of some of the mums once they established the council were not coming, there was a woman from occupational therapy who was going to take questions and comments back to the council, and the poor woman got it from all angles.
One thing that came out time and time again was the councils within the whole county had the same issues. Their attitudes were bad, and the systems failed both adults and children who have disabilities or problems (including mental health).
I explained that dinky has only just been identified as SEN, but that I tried in vain to explain how much of a drastic effect moving us from one temporary accommodation to another would have on her. I was told to pack and move within 24 hours. This wasnt possible. I fought and got an extension for a few days. Even then I hadn't enough time to prepare dinky to move yet again and it did drastically effect her. Especially her behaviour. I spent weeks of being physically attacked and dealing with her meltdowns. So much so I went to the GP as I couldn't handle it. None of it mattered to the council officers.
Afterwards another mother approached and asked some questions about dinky and mentioned that her autistic son was just the same, and was dinky being assessed for autism. No, no she isn't.
Then a man approached me and told me he was from a project that offered play sessions for 5-10 year olds with SEN and disabilities. After hearing of my issues with dinky he would like to offer for dinky join the project and go to some sessions with other SEN children. I told him that dinky wasn't diagnosed with anything and he said "yes but with what you have said she will be. I've worked with kids like your daughter for 20 years."
It's good in the fact that there is a great place dinky can go but on the other hand everyone keeps telling me that there is more than a possibility my dinky is on the autism spectrum.

Friday...
Hmm, well. Friday was a very bad day for dinky.
First of all she had a fight with her friend. Well her on off friend according to the TA. The teacher just stood there. The student had to protect the other kid and I had to muscle my way past parents and kids piling into the tiny area that the fight was taking place. I grabbed hold of dinky and literally dragged her out of the classroom. She kept trying to get back in ago I had to hold her. She punched me and shoved me in front of the teacher who had come out. She ran off looking for the deputy. The welfare officer came in and tried to help. Then the deputy came. They told me to go. It is so hard to go when your kid is distressed, but I left.
I did some bits in town and then headed home. At 12.30 I got a call. I looked at my phone and it was the school. Filled with trepidation I answered. It was the deputy. She said that dinky had fallen over and another kid had picked her up and dinky said she hurt her arm. Apparently dinky hadn't used her arm for 2 hours and the deputy wanted to see what I wanted to do. There was no swelling or bruising and she didn't seem distressed at all. I said I'd pick her up and get it checked and would be there as soon as I could but it might take a while coming from the other side of town.
Well on my way to the school my phone rang again. I picked up, it was the deputy again. Dinky had made a miraculous recovery! She was fine. So I did some window shopping and picked her up at normal time.
Dinky ran off to play as soon as I picked her up. I tried to get her to come with me but she was having none of it. I asked her to hold my hand as we were about to go out of the gate and she ran off again. I went over to her and tried to calm her. She was a the point where she could go either way. Then she ran for it under the picnic table. I managed to get her to agree to come out under the table but she decided to go the side way and got herself stuck! That's when the welfare officer and the TA came out. The welfare officer said I was handling it fantastically but looked like I needed help. I told her dinky was stuck but I was fine. They stuck around anyway. Between myself and the TA we got her out and then the welfare officer spoke to dinky and she bolted again. Then another member of staff came out and was instructed to get the deputy. Dinky kicked water from the puddle she was in all over me. I got much sterner at that point. I had removed 3 minutes already but took another and demanded an apology for that.
She apologised and I managed to get her to come with me. The she ran for the gate. The deputy followed but kept her distance. Dinky ran straight up to a dog ad began stroking it. I tired to explain that I wanted to hold her hand for safety as she was running off and I needed to keep her safe and that was my job as her mummy. The deputy could see dinky was not paying me the slightest bit of attention and tried to help me explain.
Drained beyond belief I managed to get dinky to walk with me and she held my hand.
She was then fine on the bus and on the way home. She messed about a bit at home and went to bed uncharacteristically on time. Then again she spent most of her day being stubborn and running so she probably knackered herself out!


One thing that has wound me up this week that I haven't mentioned yet is the contact book.
After 3 people suggested the book and the teacher (begrudgingly) agreed to it, she hasn't exactly written anything to help me understand what she is like at school. Most of it is in direct relation to the new behaviour system dinky is on. Where she gets 5 minutes base level and gets one added for good behaviour and one taken for bad behaviour...So we have
Monday- 1 min- up and down today hopefully while she is getting used to it
Tuesday- am 9 mins- pm 6 mins- have decided to shorten the time that dinky needs to work for into 2 sessions morning and afternoon. Excellent morning/ good afternoon
Wednesday- am 2mins- pm 8mins- excellent effort all afternoon
Thursday -am 7mins- pm 4 mins- Found it more difficult this morning dipped right down to 2 mins before coming back up. Pm - bit tricky
Friday- am 4 mins- pm 4 mins- an up and down morning - an up and down afternoon too!


Os it just me or is that not very helpful at all! Thursday afternoon got me the most.. bit tricky... What does that mean? How does that help me understand anything?


Oh well, tomorrow is Sunday... Then back to business Monday morning!