I've been meaning to blog but my head is all over the place at the moment.
Mostly things centre round Dinky. Her school have been a bit useless from the second week and still are. I had to talk to the deputy to get her a bloody coat peg. The school said she was welcome on the school trip only if I went as her 1:1. When I went to discuss it, turns out she wasn't doing as well as the teachers made out. If I didn't go there were only a few options.
1. They get a senior member of staff trained in restraint to go, but they would need a second member to go too so she would have 2:1 on her. She is 5 for crying out loud! A small (hence the name dinky) 5 year old, 2:1 they can't be serious! Apparently that is expensive though...
2. I have her at home. No bloody way! They don't want her on the school trip so she gets to stay at home when she is supposed to be getting an education? No way!
3. She goes into the nurture room for the day.
Ok those are my options.
Well, I am not in the right place for socialising with teachers and parents and having lots of little kids talking to me. It is taking everything I have to be cheery and fine for Kaitlyn's sake when she is home. Plus I have never been to this place, so it's a no.
Option 1, the deputy wasn't keen on and it was a lot of "well, we will have to see if we can finance it and get the staff."
Option 2. No way.
Option 3, well to be honest from what beginning of the week teacher said once, the nurture room might be a part of her schooling at some point if she is unable to cope. Maybe it would be worth her getting used to the nurture room and the staff.
Then there was a meeting with the senco.
That was fun. If fun means fighting tooth and nail for what should be a given.
She started off all defensive, "we are getting to know her", "some children present differently in different settings", "it is hard for the teachers to talk to 30 children's parents or carers at the end of the school day." And "we try to remain positive about our students".
So I explained that it is hard not to be anxious after your 5 year old only lasts 6 months in one school, to move to another and be misled into believing that your child is doing really well, but knowing in the deepest part of yourself that it just isn't true. I second guessed myself. Only to find through speaking to the deputy and having a small chat with beginning of the week teacher that actually she really isn't doing as well. It doesn't help that the TA is one of those people who think they are better than everyone else, but is actually no better.
She doesn't get Dinky and she won't even try. 5 years as a TA and she thinks she knows everything. She moved dinky down a reading level because dinky wouldn't read to her. So she went from stage 2, to 1+ and is now on stage 4 in only 4 weeks.
So with all that in the background, it is hard to think about doing what I need for me and for our future. I finally got a new mental health nurse, but she is less than useless.
She said he only thing she could do was send me to some group.
The group leader phoned and gave me 15 minutes to make a 45 minute journey.
On a brighter note.
I took Dinky to the London eye, and the sealife centre/ London aquarium.
We had a really good day.
The last time I took dinky for a day trip to London (apart from her grandma's) was the science museum back in August. That was a nightmare. She ran off, hid, refused to move, messed about a lot, final straw was hitting me because we had to wait for the space tour. We ended up waiting outside for the people we went with to finish up.
This time we had her DLA form and pre booked priority disabled tickets. Which meant no time restrictions, no lines, no crowds, less noise and more freedom. It meant I could do things at her pace. I let her choose what order we did things, when we did them, what we had for lunch and how long we spent in places. She was allowed one small thing from each place as a souvenir.
They say challenging children need more boundaries. I gave Dinky less and watched her have the best day out we have ever, ever had.
Even when she was 2 and we went to the sealife centre in Brighton she was a nightmare.
I don't know if I'm just pure crazy or if the less boundaries thing works better because she definitely has PDA, but we are going to the 'special children's day' at London zoo this weekend with my dad. I will probably have to make him aware of my plan and how I want to handle her, and how he will handle her or he can just go/stay home.
I think now I have a very good idea what is going on with dinky it is easier to manage.
Like, I know she may find it difficult going to the zoo, so it will be on her terms. She can decide when we go, how long we stay and which areas of the zoo we visit. I am still in charge of safety, but she is in charge of everything else.
Lets see what tomorrow brings
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