Maybe it's because I scored as depressed on the questionnaire or maybe it's because I'm extremely shattered, maybe it's because so much has happened or maybe it's all of it combined, but I haven't posted for a few days... So here it is...
Thursday I went to a housing meeting with a parents forum. I wasn't sure if I should be there. I was given the flyer by the deputy at dinky's school but it was for parents of kids with SEN (special educational needs). I went anyway. A Housing meeting was going to be interesting and if I had nothing to add, I had nothing to add.
Funnily enough the guest speakers from the local council Housing department didn't turn up! I'm not surprised by the reaction of some of the mums once they established the council were not coming, there was a woman from occupational therapy who was going to take questions and comments back to the council, and the poor woman got it from all angles.
One thing that came out time and time again was the councils within the whole county had the same issues. Their attitudes were bad, and the systems failed both adults and children who have disabilities or problems (including mental health).
I explained that dinky has only just been identified as SEN, but that I tried in vain to explain how much of a drastic effect moving us from one temporary accommodation to another would have on her. I was told to pack and move within 24 hours. This wasnt possible. I fought and got an extension for a few days. Even then I hadn't enough time to prepare dinky to move yet again and it did drastically effect her. Especially her behaviour. I spent weeks of being physically attacked and dealing with her meltdowns. So much so I went to the GP as I couldn't handle it. None of it mattered to the council officers.
Afterwards another mother approached and asked some questions about dinky and mentioned that her autistic son was just the same, and was dinky being assessed for autism. No, no she isn't.
Then a man approached me and told me he was from a project that offered play sessions for 5-10 year olds with SEN and disabilities. After hearing of my issues with dinky he would like to offer for dinky join the project and go to some sessions with other SEN children. I told him that dinky wasn't diagnosed with anything and he said "yes but with what you have said she will be. I've worked with kids like your daughter for 20 years."
It's good in the fact that there is a great place dinky can go but on the other hand everyone keeps telling me that there is more than a possibility my dinky is on the autism spectrum.
Friday...
Hmm, well. Friday was a very bad day for dinky.
First of all she had a fight with her friend. Well her on off friend according to the TA. The teacher just stood there. The student had to protect the other kid and I had to muscle my way past parents and kids piling into the tiny area that the fight was taking place. I grabbed hold of dinky and literally dragged her out of the classroom. She kept trying to get back in ago I had to hold her. She punched me and shoved me in front of the teacher who had come out. She ran off looking for the deputy. The welfare officer came in and tried to help. Then the deputy came. They told me to go. It is so hard to go when your kid is distressed, but I left.
I did some bits in town and then headed home. At 12.30 I got a call. I looked at my phone and it was the school. Filled with trepidation I answered. It was the deputy. She said that dinky had fallen over and another kid had picked her up and dinky said she hurt her arm. Apparently dinky hadn't used her arm for 2 hours and the deputy wanted to see what I wanted to do. There was no swelling or bruising and she didn't seem distressed at all. I said I'd pick her up and get it checked and would be there as soon as I could but it might take a while coming from the other side of town.
Well on my way to the school my phone rang again. I picked up, it was the deputy again. Dinky had made a miraculous recovery! She was fine. So I did some window shopping and picked her up at normal time.
Dinky ran off to play as soon as I picked her up. I tried to get her to come with me but she was having none of it. I asked her to hold my hand as we were about to go out of the gate and she ran off again. I went over to her and tried to calm her. She was a the point where she could go either way. Then she ran for it under the picnic table. I managed to get her to agree to come out under the table but she decided to go the side way and got herself stuck! That's when the welfare officer and the TA came out. The welfare officer said I was handling it fantastically but looked like I needed help. I told her dinky was stuck but I was fine. They stuck around anyway. Between myself and the TA we got her out and then the welfare officer spoke to dinky and she bolted again. Then another member of staff came out and was instructed to get the deputy. Dinky kicked water from the puddle she was in all over me. I got much sterner at that point. I had removed 3 minutes already but took another and demanded an apology for that.
She apologised and I managed to get her to come with me. The she ran for the gate. The deputy followed but kept her distance. Dinky ran straight up to a dog ad began stroking it. I tired to explain that I wanted to hold her hand for safety as she was running off and I needed to keep her safe and that was my job as her mummy. The deputy could see dinky was not paying me the slightest bit of attention and tried to help me explain.
Drained beyond belief I managed to get dinky to walk with me and she held my hand.
She was then fine on the bus and on the way home. She messed about a bit at home and went to bed uncharacteristically on time. Then again she spent most of her day being stubborn and running so she probably knackered herself out!
One thing that has wound me up this week that I haven't mentioned yet is the contact book.
After 3 people suggested the book and the teacher (begrudgingly) agreed to it, she hasn't exactly written anything to help me understand what she is like at school. Most of it is in direct relation to the new behaviour system dinky is on. Where she gets 5 minutes base level and gets one added for good behaviour and one taken for bad behaviour...So we have
Monday- 1 min- up and down today hopefully while she is getting used to it
Tuesday- am 9 mins- pm 6 mins- have decided to shorten the time that dinky needs to work for into 2 sessions morning and afternoon. Excellent morning/ good afternoon
Wednesday- am 2mins- pm 8mins- excellent effort all afternoon
Thursday -am 7mins- pm 4 mins- Found it more difficult this morning dipped right down to 2 mins before coming back up. Pm - bit tricky
Friday- am 4 mins- pm 4 mins- an up and down morning - an up and down afternoon too!
Os it just me or is that not very helpful at all! Thursday afternoon got me the most.. bit tricky... What does that mean? How does that help me understand anything?
Oh well, tomorrow is Sunday... Then back to business Monday morning!
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