To be honest I'm pretty sick and tired of the current situations.
I phoned CAMHS back regarding dinky... They FINALLY got dinky's referral but passed it straight onto integrated services. They didn't really explain what it was so I did some research on the Internet and found that it is a multi disciplinary team with CAMHS, social services and other organisations. I don't know which other service will be involved as they are age related. There is one that is birth to 5 but dinky turns 5 in feb, so there is another service that is 5-10 but I don't know if that means waiting until she is 5 for that service to get involved.
At first I got really paranoid because of social service involvement, but I talked myself round after reading that they opt for multi disciplinary teams normally if the parent has mental health issues and if the family have housing issues. It doesn't necessarily mean they will take dinky away. From what the play therapist said dinky is as good as she is because I'm doing an ok job, I don't hit her, she is fed, bathed, clothed and everything so there is no reason for social services to even consider that she would be better off anywhere else, but they could prove to be of assistance in the housing situation and in getting dinky the right help.
I haven't heard back from CMHT about changing mental health nurses. I'll have to phone them again next week.
I still have some of the things she said swimming around my head. I don't want her to think I went to her to skive from the job centre but I really don't feel in a position to go back to work. She said I should become a carer, but I don't think I could do that. Some days I haven't the energy to maintain anything other than my daughter's well being, I don't even look after myself I don't know how she expects me to look after others as a job. Also there are not many care homes round here and other care jobs want people who can drive. I don't have a licence. So that's that out of the window plus they want weekend and evening workers and I can't do that with dinky and the same problem exists with retail. I can't go back to my old job as I left because my hours were reduced (I definitely think it was due to my mood swings and stress levels, I don't think I'd be welcomed back.)
Every other job which doesn't require qualifications you need experience or they want evening and weekends. I just can't win.
I found myself driving myself crazy over everything so I phoned the mental health line and the woman said I was intelligent. Now, not only am I not very good with compliments, but I find it very irritating being told you are intelligent. Only because it doesn't change the fact that I have not got the concentration levels for education and the mood swings don't help either. It is basically like saying your intelligent but will still be stuck in a dead end job whichever way you look at it.
I hope I can get a better mental health nurse. One that actually cares. Bidding day tomorrow... Hopefully we will be further up the list.
Christmas is coming and I'm getting stressed because I got dinky everything she wanted but she can't play with half of them because there is just not enough space.
Plus I don't relish having to spend the day with one of the other mums. I shouldn't have agreed to it, but I just don't want to be around other people at the moment. I don't think it will be long before she figures out that I have issues. That means questions that I don't want to answer and normally I end up having to listen to other peoples life stories because I don't want to reveal my own....
Grrr not in a good mood!
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