After taking dinky to school, trying to get her to do her phonics without causing a major disruption from her ultra sulk, pulling her away from the door so people could get in and out, and leaving her with mrs C (which dinky was not impressed with as she normally has mrs H as her TA) in floods of tears, I set off for breakfast. I met with my friend B who has done all this before but she didn't remember that I had the appointment today. After yesterday, her telling me to search all the places to get a job, I couldn't be bothered to remind her. I ate my breakfast in silence while she went off on one telling me where I should be looking for work and what I should be doing with my life.
After I got the bus to town and walked up to the hospital. I started to feel a little anxious about the examination and had to get my book out to distract myself but my heart wasn't in it. I was taken in to see the doc pretty quickly. For the life of me I could work out why they had a separate changing room, seeing as she was about to have her hands all over my breasts, I didn't see why they couldn't see me get undressed. So I came out and she asked me where the lump was and felt it her self, she spend a good 5 minutes checking every cm of the breasts. I had to block out the intrusive memories, but it was better than flashbacks. I got dressed, she asked my medical history and if there was cancer in the family. She told me she couldn't work out what it was but ran through the list of what it could be.
Lymph node- maybe
Fibro something or other- possibly
Cancer- unlikely but can't rule it out
She didn't think it was a cyst because the shape was wrong. It wasn't circular, or smooth.
Apparently because of Christmas and new year the ultrasound department were only taking follow ups and mammogram discrepancies. So I would get an appointment for a scan in the next couple of weeks and she was going to ask for a biopsy so they can be sure the diagnosis is correct. I preferred not knowing the next bit, "they will have to give you local anaesthetic to the breast because it is quite a wide needle to get what they need". Now I'm not scared of needles and biopsy could have meant small needle or big needle, there was no need to squash the hope it was a small one!
And that was that. 10 minutes.
So a letter should come in the post. So that is something else to look out for.
Bidding day today, 2 houses in the wrong areas so wait another week to see if something comes up.
No news on anything else that I am waiting for.
The mind advocate will be here at 11.30 tomorrow to discuss my options with the nurse. My appointment with the nurse is on Wednesday so we will see how that goes. I'm really not up for a fight on this one. I've been irritable enough lately without having a discussion about considering other peoples feeling with a nurse who's job it is to help people. I get the feeling she is from a nice middle class family who expected her to go to uni and she decided to do nursing as it is a good profession to get into. Mental health nursing doesn't require getting your hands dirty so here she is. She doesn't seem all that experienced, she had to look up antidepressants in the medicine book. If she was experienced you would think she would know her antidepressant drugs being a mental health nurse.
So this week is going to be one of those weeks!
More job hunting to keep me busy and I stop smoking from tomorrow!
Wish me luck! :)
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